June 2 2014.
My first blog for Writing 101: 20 minutes of stream of consciousness writing from Detroit, Michigan
I have a list of things to do today. And creating a list involves making decisions.
Making decisions has always been difficult for me. There have been massively terrible consequences for the decisions I’ve made. I’m responsible for so many local and global bad things. My ex-spouse is one of them, and the blow-back is still clinging to my grown kids. But bad quality decision-making certainly doesn’t end with my ex-spouse and perhaps will be a topic of later confessions. As a result, I grapple with indecision which is extended to even the small things.
One thing on the table now is whether to call for a repair to my central a/c. Last year it failed, and we hate the heat and the humidity. We did not opt to get it fixed because:
(i) we are trying to live a more environmentally responsible lifestyle.
(ii) we wanted to see just how we would cope w/o a/c.
(iii) we have no extra money.
(iv) my daughter voted no.
Overall the experiment went well. It was a little dicey, and the salt clumped up, and the house (and ourselves) felt genuinely dirty, but we did make it thru one of the hottest summers. This year I have made the decision to at least gather more information and call for a repair diagnostic. It will cost me $100 I figure for the service call. The repair will probably be in the thousands because I’m fairly sure it’s the compressor. However, the overriding factor in my decision to get a service call is Fukushima. There is nothing that can be done about that mess. And with the recent fire over reactor #4, there is the very distinct possibility of an event explosion that will move over the northern hemisphere. What if we have to stay indoors with the windows and doors shut for a period of time? We will need the a/c and a good furnace filter. No, we are not survivalists and do not have bug-out-bag or a plan. Our options are limited.
Therefore, on my list is a decision to call the local heating & cooling service persons. In the best case scenario, it will be a minor repair, we won’t need to use the a/c anyway, radioactive clouds will not hover over us, our garden crops will be edible, and higher life on this planet won’t be extinguished this summer. However, I know better than to trust my instincts.